https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog daily 0.75 2025-12-10 https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/6eduyfevj32ag18x5v1q16jpetl4o4 monthly 0.5 2025-12-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1755191616240-MWAL9IV4ISWYN8YQ5RQF/unsplash-image-Hyu76loQLdk.jpg Blog - The Art of Holding Two Truths: Love as a Living Paradox - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1755191671211-5SQNMIM3MX8VT3I1JUGD/unsplash-image-9SKhDFnw4c4.jpg Blog - The Art of Holding Two Truths: Love as a Living Paradox - In relationships of any depth, there comes a moment (or perhaps a series of moments) when we become aware of opposing needs pulling at us at the same time. We long for closeness, for the kind of intimacy that reassures us we are seen and chosen. We also long for space, for the room to remember ourselves outside the mirror of another’s gaze. Psychology names this the autonomy–connection tension, a central paradox of intimacy; philosophy, especially in dialectical traditions, frames it as the productive meeting of opposites. Both perspectives agree: this is not a sign of failure or incompatibility, but a fundamental condition of loving another human being. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/47ec5aca-9885-4e4d-8028-57ad880a3fac/kirk.jpg Blog - The Art of Holding Two Truths: Love as a Living Paradox - Philosophers like Heraclitus, who wrote that “the way up and the way down are one and the same,” remind us that apparent opposites can share a common ground. Kierkegaard, in his notion of the leap of faith, points to the necessity of acting without certainty, or living into a reality we cannot fully prove or secure in advance. In relational life, this leap might look like trusting that stability and desire can co-exist, that freedom can be an expression of devotion, and that tension is not a problem to solve but a sign of vitality. The art, then, is not in resolving the paradox but in inhabiting it. - Rodin This is the work of relational intelligence: the embodied skill of staying present with complexity, allowing both safety and mystery to be part of the same love. It asks us to resist the lure of tidy narratives and instead develop a capacity for holding: holding the relationship, holding each other, holding the truths that refuse to collapse into one. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/the-self-as-story-rethinking-identity-through-narrative monthly 0.5 2025-06-09 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1749474598959-W7B3E6LLQV10MZ5SWMLG/unsplash-image-34Tzc5f1qbA.jpg Blog - The Self as Story: Rethinking Identity through Narrative - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/what-even-is-authenticity monthly 0.5 2025-06-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1748814373843-P21Q034JFFX93R8NA7RD/unsplash-image-D44kHt8Ex14.jpg Blog - What Even Is Authenticity? - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/support-isnt-what-you-think-holding-vs-fixing monthly 0.5 2025-05-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1748265739805-TDGS4KR48Q343UICBDV1/unsplash-image-SIU1Glk6v5k.jpg Blog - Support Isn’t What You Think: Holding vs. Fixing - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/how-to-stay-connected-when-you-want-to-shut-down monthly 0.5 2025-05-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1747933328868-ZMQ8LPGSZZTIVHHDNUVU/unsplash-image-_UIVmIBB3JU.jpg Blog - How to Stay Connected When You Want to Shut Down - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/soft-skills-arent-soft-theyre-survival monthly 0.5 2025-05-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1747932712314-UVENVN9X1K9WVVBPJ66Y/unsplash-image-BxXgTQEw1M4.jpg Blog - Soft Skills Aren’t Soft: They’re Survival. - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/narrative-identity-who-we-leave-out-in-the-stories-about-ourselves monthly 0.5 2025-04-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1745237401409-VWTN1V0JC843FXFOZC8J/unsplash-image-34Tzc5f1qbA.jpg Blog - Narrative Identity: Who We Leave Out in the Stories About Ourselves - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/i-need-you-but-i-need-me-too-a-meditation-on-modern-intimacy monthly 0.5 2025-04-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1744644011290-O0FOWJVTNGDAHSR8GWCQ/unsplash-image-HdEDbGGcSkQ.jpg Blog - I Need You, But I Need Me Too: A Meditation on Modern Intimacy - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/why-we-ghost-ourselves-out-of-community-and-how-to-come-back monthly 0.5 2025-04-07 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1744041919526-TQMX9E8E4X68APQFS6OM/unsplash-image-31-pOduwZGE.jpg Blog - Why We Ghost Ourselves Out of Community… and How to Come Back - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/the-myth-of-finding-your-people monthly 0.5 2025-04-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1743551881391-J304MG14IDABEPFGX4VX/unsplash-image-AZMmUy2qL6A.jpg Blog - The Myth of Finding Your People - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/we-heal-in-relationships-but-first-we-must-feel-safe-enough-to-stay monthly 0.5 2025-04-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1743605114054-LNBOTKKR9L7QKGXXRIYM/unsplash-image-jPpHpgWNCKs.jpg Blog - We Heal in Relationships — But First, We Must Feel Safe Enough to Stay - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/the-psychology-behind-authentic-networking monthly 0.5 2025-03-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1743370139425-NLCTVED3E8220J3XZPP9/unsplash-image-ZDN-G1xBWHY.jpg Blog - The Psychology Behind Authentic Networking - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/why-we-put-up-emotional-walls monthly 0.5 2025-03-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/634dceaa-b589-46d8-b272-9a5b26e1d095/unsplash-image-4Zaq5xY5M_c.jpg Blog - Why We Put Up Emotional Walls Because these didn’t pop up out of nowhere. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/clues-to-purpose-remembering-what-we-already-knew monthly 0.5 2025-03-29 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1739806348146-6ACP32QNG9JTNXMFH2Q8/unsplash-image-f0rdHx5P8sQ.jpg Blog - Clues to Purpose: Remembering What We Already Knew - What if purpose isn’t something new but just remembering what we already knew? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1739806533809-6MMGKYFXY8VXAVUE8RP7/unsplash-image-8a7ZTFKax_I.jpg Blog - Clues to Purpose: Remembering What We Already Knew - Nietzsche described this process as the Three Metamorphoses of the Spirit: First, the spirit is the Camel—weighed down by duty, carrying expectations without question. Then, the Lion—fighting back, rejecting the roles imposed on us. Finally, the Child—not childish, but free. Creating for the sake of creation and exploring curiosity without justification. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/the-utterly-heartbreaking-reality-of-vulnerability monthly 0.5 2025-03-29 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/0db985b7-2da7-4da9-a7ee-f9ff84c2432e/unsplash-image-pIbhiIWAO00.jpg Blog - The Utterly Heartbreaking Reality of Vulnerability. - I don’t ask for much. I’m just asking to be seen. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1738249778883-R7HJPPLW22TAQWL80FLK/unsplash-image-0QiWofCqdOI.jpg Blog - The Utterly Heartbreaking Reality of Vulnerability. - The Science of Why Vulnerability Matters Modern neuroscience confirms what philosophers and psychologists have long suggested: vulnerability is not just an emotional experience—it is a biological necessity. Lisa Feldman Barrett’s research shows that emotions, including vulnerability, are constructed by the brain through past experiences, social interactions, and bodily sensations. When we allow ourselves to express vulnerability, we are actively reshaping our brain’s neural pathways, making it easier to regulate emotions and build resilience. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory explains how vulnerability activates the ventral vagal complex, which governs our social engagement system. When we open up emotionally, we shift into a physiological state of connection and co-regulation. In other words, vulnerability signals to our nervous system that we are safe, allowing us to form deeper relationships. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/what-we-misunderstand-about-complex-trauma monthly 0.5 2025-01-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/23773ed8-d45e-4869-ac77-76de8dc831b7/Screenshot+2025-01-21+at+5.59.24+PM.jpg Blog - What We Misunderstand About Complex Trauma. - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/5fd25487-2e10-4732-b721-232cc5611dcc/Screenshot+2025-01-21+at+6.00.36+PM.png Blog - What We Misunderstand About Complex Trauma. - Complex Trauma and the DSM Complex trauma is not currently recognized as a separate diagnosis in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). Instead, its symptoms are often lumped under PTSD or other related conditions, such as borderline personality disorder or depressive disorders. This lack of formal recognition means that the distinct challenges faced by survivors of complex trauma are frequently overlooked. Unlike PTSD, complex trauma involves pervasive issues like emotional regulation difficulties, self-concept struggles, and relationship challenges that stem from long-term harm. Addressing complex trauma requires a different therapeutic approach, focusing on building safety, trust, and connection over time, and trauma-informed care that acknowledges the survivor’s lived experiences and emphasizes holistic healing is crucial. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1737500660120-YB8ZXD7F4L18NN9NTEIL/unsplash-image-0Wx3kEFdgjQ.jpg Blog - What We Misunderstand About Complex Trauma. - It’s not simply a psychological issue. It’s a human one. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/somatics-101 monthly 0.5 2025-01-09 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1736378620886-3ARR8VOUN7EEFOUD2B3E/unsplash-image-gUPznplBsLI.jpg Blog - Somatics 101 - If intuition had a clinical name, it would be somatics. Huh. It’s like our bodies are actually telling us something. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1736378749254-QTCCQPQ9KO0KRJYQ2H2E/unsplash-image-AkSJQnem75Y.jpg Blog - Somatics 101 - Why Somatics Matters: Mind-Body Connection Modern research increasingly supports the idea that the body and mind are deeply interconnected. Trauma, for instance, doesn’t just reside in the brain; it’s stored in the body. Psychiatrist Bessel Van der Kolk’s groundbreaking work in The Body Keeps the Score highlights how unresolved trauma manifests as physical symptoms, from chronic pain to heightened stress responses. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1736379418306-SX912IVZZFNQ3LI3IVN4/unsplash-image-OJZVjMYUMdY.jpg Blog - Somatics 101 - Popular Somatic Practices 1. Somatic Experiencing: Developed by Peter Levine, this practice focuses on releasing trauma by gently guiding the body through the sensations associated with it, without reliving the event. 2. Feldenkrais Method: This approach uses gentle, mindful movement to improve physical function and increase awareness of how your body moves. 3. Yoga: Though not exclusively a somatic practice, yoga encourages embodiment and awareness, making it a powerful tool for reconnecting with your body. 4. Body Scan Meditation: This mindfulness exercise involves slowly bringing attention to different parts of your body, noticing sensations, tension, and ease. 5. Authentic Movement: This practice invites you to move intuitively, exploring how your body wants to express itself without external judgment or choreography.is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/what-drives-us-to-connect-in-the-first-place monthly 0.5 2024-12-28 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1735313720955-4R9KWBMKQ2LFCBI91LUR/unsplash-image-MlpJsjdm2wU.jpg Blog - What Drives Us to Connect in the First Place? - Attraction is complicated. It can be multifaceted, or messy, or out of the blue, or confusing. But I’ve always thought attraction meant you have something to learn from the other – something that is ultimately revealed within yourself. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1735313294417-NG8EH3YPQRDN3JPMMH4H/unsplash-image-DNkoNXQti3c.jpg Blog - What Drives Us to Connect in the First Place? - At its core, connection is rooted in survival. Evolutionary psychologists argue that humans are hardwired to connect because, in the days when hunting and gathering was life or death, survival depended on community. Being part of a group offered protection, resources, and the collective strength needed to endure. Connection wasn’t just nice—it was essential. Today, the stakes may not be as high (no saber-toothed tigers lurking outside your apartment… even though I’ve seen weirder in New York), but the same mechanisms still drive us. Oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” is released when we bond with others, whether through physical touch, laughter, or even eye contact. It’s the body’s way of saying, Yes, this feels good. Do more of this. Connection does the work of rewiring our brains for trust, safety, and happiness. But there’s more to it than survival instincts. Psychologists like Abraham Maslow identified belongingness as a foundational human need, sandwiched between safety and self-actualization in his hierarchy of needs. In other words. relationships give our lives meaning, fulfillment, and joy. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/a-dream-is-a-wish-your-heart-makes monthly 0.5 2024-12-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1734743783267-XFMGOD7LYOB8DYBCT4EK/unsplash-image-oMpAz-DN-9I.jpg Blog - A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes - Dreams—whether they happen at night or during a dull afternoon at the office —offer a window into our subconscious. Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, believed that dreams were the royal road to the unconscious. He argued that dreams reflect repressed desires and unresolved conflicts, often cloaked in symbolic imagery. In Freud’s view, even the wildest, most nonsensical dreams have meaning—they’re just encoded in a language we don’t consciously speak. Well, that seems a bit inaccessible, but that’s what psychoanalysis is for. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1734744002046-D3PBZGY31N1A3YPRVDRR/unsplash-image-2q6C5zDJOsg.jpg Blog - A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes - A study published in Psychological Science found that engaging in simple external tasks that allow the mind to wander can facilitate creative problem-solving. Participants who took breaks with an undemanding task showed a 41% improvement in creative problem-solving tasks, compared to those who rested without such a task. This suggests that daydreaming during low-key activities can enhance creativity. Additionally, research indicates that daydreaming is closely linked to the brain’s default mode network (DMN), a set of interconnected regions that become active when the mind is at rest and not focused on the outside world. This network is associated with functions such as self-referential thinking and future planning, highlighting the role of daydreaming in cognitive processes. In essence, allowing your mind to drift isn't just a mental escape; it's a cognitive strategy that fosters creativity and problem-solving, preparing you to turn your dreams into reality. *It’s important to note here that I have just spent the past five months studying how dreaming without clearly acknowledging reality or creating a plan to overcome it leads to depressive symptoms when continually indulging in the dream without action. But this is another post to come. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1734744450239-IMS4ECPD8NQR8HVK5XTO/unsplash-image-0D8_tYHIy0o.jpg Blog - A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes - When we peel back the layers, dreams—whether aspirations or night visions—often reflect what’s missing. Maybe you dream of adventure because your routine feels stagnant. Maybe you imagine love stories because you crave connection. Or maybe you dream of success because you’re striving to prove something to yourself—or someone else. In this way, dreams can act as both mirrors and maps. They reflect our current emotional state while offering clues about where we want to go. But not all dreams need to be chased. Sometimes, they’re just a safe space for exploration—a playground where we can try new identities, ideas, and possibilities without the risk of failure. This maps especially well onto the erotic realm where fantasies and desires do not necessarily equate with scenarios one wants to experience in reality. Living With Dreams The beauty of dreaming is that it invites us to step outside the limits of what we believe is possible. Dreams let us test out different versions of ourselves, expand the boundaries of our imaginations, and connect with our deepest desires. But there’s a balance to strike. Dreaming without action is escapism; action without dreaming can feel hollow. So, dream big. Get feral. And don’t forget to wake up and engage with the world. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/deliberate-play-gt-practice monthly 0.5 2025-02-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/56cf648b-3536-4270-84e0-c9d7124b8ef9/IMG_7576.JPG Blog - Deliberate Play > Practice - I hate ruts. I hate ruts and I love ruts because I love the realizations I have when I finally get out of a rut, but in the middle of it all? Not fun. I recently ran into one in my personal movement practice when I just felt stuck. I wasn’t improving, despite doing the same thing over and over and over again. My dedication wasn’t wavering. So why did I feel trapped? Especially doing the things I thought I loved? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/59e2ba1c-4ab7-49d1-bdb0-164f305c3b83/Screenshot+2024-11-15+at+2.41.04+PM.png Blog - Deliberate Play > Practice The human brain thrives on novelty. Studies show that when we engage in new activities, the brain lights up in ways that promote learning and motivation. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the man who coined the term “flow,” argued that we get into a state of optimal performance not just through repetition, but through continuous engagement with challenges that stretch our abilities. In simple terms? If you want to grow, you have to keep the brain on its toes. That’s why pure practice can start to feel like a chore—and why, eventually, progress stalls. When we’re no longer curious or mentally engaged with what we’re doing, the practice stops being effective. We need variety, unexpected obstacles, and, dare I say, fun to stay invested. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/bdnz2ccv39gl38jku7ssu8w91oyl5y monthly 0.5 2024-10-28 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/eb2b5172-d5d0-463e-9471-3510c48ed080/Screenshot+2024-10-28+at+12.11.19+PM.png Blog - Is Purpose Overrated? - Look, if you grew up in capitalist America, the idea of monetizing your purpose is practically stitched into your DNA. It's not just a concept; it’s a cultural script, nudging you to believe that passion without profit is somehow wasted potential. We can trace this back to Weber’s The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism if you want to dip into theory by unpacking how financial success was evidence of your God-given virtue according to Calvinist principles. These ideals enmeshed themselves into capitalism and left us with the “we’re gonna make money and be happy, dammit,” mentality. Even after divorcing it from monetary implications, the idea of purpose and intrinsic motivational drive still hold deep value to me. I want to know my ‘why’ because it gives me a reason to keep moving forward. Yet I still can’t shake the weight of it all. Why does this search for meaning feel so loaded with pressure to always be “doing the most” or becoming the most realized version of myself? Why does purpose still have to feel so heavy? Can’t the point of life just be… living it? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/33b5e620-5b31-4fc4-adda-565981fdcf07/Screenshot+2024-10-28+at+11.51.00+AM.png Blog - Is Purpose Overrated? - Then there’s Camus, who suggests in The Myth of Sisyphus that life is inherently absurd. We push the boulder up the hill every day, knowing it will roll back down. But instead of despairing, Camus invites us to embrace the absurd and find joy in the struggle. In a way, his philosophy challenges the idea that purpose needs to be grand or permanent—it’s about how we choose to show up, even when things feel meaningless. Still, not a fan of this option. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/eca38250-157c-4a2b-b457-6b29a28e5b6b/Screenshot+2024-10-28+at+11.56.01+AM.png Blog - Is Purpose Overrated? Hannah Arendt (who would object to being called a philosopher) offers a perspective that shifts the focus from introspection to engagement. For Arendt, purpose isn’t just something we think or feel—it’s something that arises through action. We discover who we are and where meaning lives by participating in the world—by working, creating, building relationships, and showing up in the spaces we share with others. As she puts it, “Action, the only thing that reveals a person completely, can only occur in the space shared with others.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/4b351805-95ad-4737-8e37-cd1365c9afc2/Screenshot+2024-10-28+at+11.54.23+AM.png Blog - Is Purpose Overrated? - I think I’m in cahoots with Jung on this one. Carl Jung’s concept of individuation offers a refreshing perspective on purpose—it’s not about a fixed goal but about becoming who you were always meant to be. Individuation is the lifelong process of integrating the different parts of yourself—your conscious mind, unconscious desires, strengths, flaws, and even your shadows—into a unified whole. It’s less about finding a purpose and more about embracing the complexity of who you are. Purpose, in this sense, isn’t something external you have to chase; it’s something that emerges as you grow, change, and make peace with yourself. https://www.aubreyaust.com/blog/2019/3/11/how-you-need monthly 0.5 2024-10-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/1729200853166-AA8OPFC61RT8D3APU3PW/unsplash-image-qfWf9Muwp-c.jpg Blog - Forget What You Want. Find Out How You Need. - And while the needs themselves are universal, how they show up in each of us is deeply personal. Some seek validation through achievement, others through relationships, and others through influence. But here’s the thing: understanding our needs isn’t just about naming them. It’s about noticing how they weave through our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors—how they push us forward or hold us back. It’s easy to become lost in the needs abyss. Framing them to find what need drive us the most can be helpful to orient ourselves to get the most out of what we’ve got. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670a860b79a5ea40a81c8f24/551b4a6b-29bd-4480-891b-618abbedc2f5/Screenshot+2024-10-17+at+11.21.43+PM.jpg Blog - Forget What You Want. Find Out How You Need. - The sweet spot—that elusive place where your needs and values align—sounds wonderful in theory but tricky to pin down in practice. When needs and values line up, life flows. You act not out of obligation but out of integrity, guided by both what drives you and what matters to you. 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