What do I do when vulnerability feels like a lost cause?

Question: In a world that is seemingly becoming less and less sensitive, we see cruelty, dishonesty, deception growing at an alarming rate. As a sensitive person, it really hurts me, but I'm only one person. I can do my part, but what if 10 million others want to hurt each other? I sometimes feel at a disadvantage. How can we stay true to ourselves in this world without feeling discouraged?

Response:

You are not imagining things. There is a coarseness to modern life. We’ve created systems that reward detachment, often at the expense of emotional presence. And for those of us who are attuned, who are trying to allow ourselves to feel, it can be disorienting, even painful.

But here’s what I believe:
Sensitivity is not a disadvantage. It’s a form of perception. And while it may leave you more exposed, it also gives you access to beauty, depth, and insight that numbness never could.

Staying true to yourself in a world that can feel indifferent is not about pretending it doesn’t hurt. It’s about practicing what the philosopher Gillian Rose called “the broken middle,” or a commitment to holding complexity without collapsing into despair.

So how do we live with an open heart in a fractured world?

• We protect our sensitivity, not by shutting it down, but by giving it boundaries and rest.

• We create microcultures of care (relationships, communities, conversations) where softness is honored.

• We allow our heartbreak to move us, not crush us.

You are one person. And also: you are not alone. Every act of presence, honesty, and kindness you offer plants something.

Staying soft is a quiet form of resistance. And very much a worthy one, in my opinion.