Is It Me, or Is No One Committing Anymore?

Full Question: "I feel like no one wants to be in an actual relationship anymore. I go on a date or two, maybe we explore things physically, and then it just dwindles. People seem more flaky and less inclined to actually commit. Is it just me? Or is this happening across the board?"

Answer:

We’re in a time of what I think of as relationship ambivalence: on one hand, many people crave deep connection, but on the other, we’re also navigating a landscape of endless options, swipe fatigue, and a kind of low-level fear—fear of choosing wrong, fear of being hurt, fear of giving up independence. Add to that a collective exhaustion (hi, pandemic, economic precarity, climate anxiety…) and it’s no wonder that follow-through has gotten shaky.

But here’s something to sit with:

Not everyone wants commitment in the same way… or on the same timeline. We expect dating to be a straightforward path toward partnership, but modern dating is often exploratory, messy, and yes, sometimes careless. It doesn’t mean your desire for something real is too much; it means you’re coming up against a mismatch between your longing and the cultural moment.

So what are we supposed to do?

Get radically clear on what you want—not just "a relationship," but the kind of relationship that feels nourishing and true. Hold that clarity like an anchor, even when the waters feel uncertain. You may find that some connections drift away because they’re not aligned… but that’s actually a good filter, not a failure.

And no, it’s not just you. It’s a whole world of people yearning, hesitating, and figuring it out in real time.