Is a work romance worth the drama?

Full Question: What to do if you feel some tension with your coworker, but you don’t actually want that drama at work and they’re probably just “work hot”?

Answer:

What is a workplace crush? It could be part desire, part projection, part caffeine-fueled fantasy. You’re not alone in this. Offices and workplaces have always been incubators for strange (but admittedly fun) chemistry. Something about shared eye rolls and fluorescent lighting does something to a person.

But truly, there’s a difference between chemistry and connection and a wide gulf between tension and intention.

So let’s pause and ask: what is this feeling, actually?

Sometimes, what we interpret as attraction is just a crackle of possibility — something waking up inside you. Not necessarily about them, but because of them. A flirtation with aliveness. A reminder that desire still lives in your body, even in spreadsheets and team meetings and the mundane day-to-day.

It’s not always about wanting to act on it. Sometimes, it’s about noticing it, naming it, and letting it inform you, not control you.

Here are a few ideas on how to examine this for yourself:

1. Get clear on what you want this to be.
   Ask yourself: Is this just a little heat that makes the day more fun? Or do I actually want to explore something here?
   If the answer is no, then honor that. You don’t need to touch the flame to enjoy its warmth.

2. Don’t confuse fantasy with friction.
   A little tension doesn’t mean you're destined to entangle. It might mean you're both human, attractive, and mildly bored on a Tuesday. That’s okay.

3. Keep the inner story in check.
   When someone is “work hot,” you’re often filling in the blanks. You don’t know their dating life, their nervous system, their attachment style —you just know how they look when they hop on a zoom meeting. So take the fantasy lightly. Let it be playful, not persuasive.

4. Respect your own boundaries.
   Not wanting drama is a desire worth honoring. You can acknowledge the tension without acting it out. You can flirt with a feeling without turning it into a storyline.

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is notice the spark.

Desire doesn’t always need a destination. Sometimes, it just needs a witness.